It's all in a name, especially if it leads to people laughing at you

DO you have a problem with your Wind?

That's the question you're inevitably going to get asked if you buy Renault's really rather pretty new roadster and it breaks down. I know it's meant to signify Wind in your hair, but the hard shoulder's hardly the place for a chirpy recovery driver to start making flatulence jokes.

Naming cars after winds is nothing new - the Passat and Scirocco are actually gusts rather than Volkswagens - but it still amazes how many models are launched with unfortunate names. I like the look of the Wind already, but it's still a Wind rather than a Cheetah or a Speedster or a Stealth Bomber. So flatulence jokes it is.

If I'd been on Renault's board my own suggestion would have been Fuego, which is an old name the company used on one of its coupes back in the '80s and would have suitably the new arrival perfectly. Saying you drive a Renault Fuego would make you sound advantgarde and interesting at dinner parties, even if no one will be able to remember what the original looked like.

Lots of people got in touch after I suggested calling a car Leaf makes people think of salad not long ago, but that's hardly the worst offender, because history is littered with awful badges I'd hate to have on any car, no matter how good it is.

Remember the Ford Probe? It looked great with its pop-up headlights and sports car styling but the moniker suggested something you'd stick up someone's bottom, a criminal investigation or at best a slightly stodgy spacecraft. The Capri might have been in the image doldrums back then, but naming a car after a balmy Italian island is always better than...well, a probe.

The Allegro and Marina are about as fondly remembered as each other but the one named after the musical tempo sounds quizzical and interesting, whereas I can't help thinking about outboard motors on fishing boats with the word 'Marina'. Probably appropriate given the car it ended up on.

There's still plenty of great words and names going spare which haven't been used yet; Rattlesnake, Avalon and Albatross for starters, and none of those would lend themselves to the RAC making fun of you.